DRIVE

I have four songs, maybe five, on my ipod titled "Drive." It's interesting that so many people sing and write about the idea of driving... Eliot's poem "She Being Brand New" likens the automobile to amazing sex, and lyrics on my list say "...but lately I'm beginning to find that when I drive myself my light is found," while another sings "...ride in your car now, but please don't drop me home... No boy don't speak now, you just drive..." and "drive in drive out I'm leaving..." Yes. Drive.

I waited until I was 17 to get my license. I wasn't a big deal to me, but as soon as I had it, I had something that I needed. The hum under the hood. Rubber tread offering the relaxing white noise of tires on concrete.... pieces of the poem I was trying to write in my head this morning. I don't drive to escape. I drive to relax. I get in my car and I listen. I listen to the pure genius of the machine which I can control. I smell gasoline and the comforting scent of motor oil. I love to feel the change of the engine, shifting from 1st through 5th and the crescendo and fall of the hum of 3000 revolutions per minute. The comfortable cruise zone of 6000rmp's drives me to calm. When I use this outlet it's not about the song on the radio, it's about the song of a motor vehicle.

Maybe this is part of the reason American's embrace the automobile as "The American Dream." The freedom to get in your car and just drive! YOUR car. The open road. I prefer curves and hills and the ability to see a car perform, but when I find my zone, that straight stretch puts it all in perspective. I love to drive at night or when the sun is setting; I also find comfort driving in early morning twilight. Me and the road. The road and me. Solitude on that empty, dark freeway brings peace of mind.

Today, this morning, I found myself in a strange place inside my head. My little demons were knocking around, grinning and pounding on the door and I just... drove. Funny that many people get so nervous and uptight about driving, but I love to be behind the wheel. I'm grateful my father made me learn so much about cars. There is more I wish I knew, but in the long run, I think I appreciate the power and yet, simplicity of the automobile. I know driving is something I'm supposed to do - as peculiar as that might sound. I guess, for me it's an outlet. When I find that 75mph zone (yes, I drive 5 over) after I find that calm, that's all it takes.

Now, I'm in a better place and all I had to do was drive. I drove and processed and let the wheel and the pedals be my distraction. My hands are supposed to fit on that wheel and they do. My palm is comfortable gripping a gear shift and my feet know brake, clutch, gas.

"Drive; take my through make me feel alive..." -Bic Runga