Go with me on this, because in order for this to make sense in some ways I have to draw on a slightly fictional example. Over the past month I have been watching the TV series Lie to Me. The series has it's basis on the life of Dr. Paul Ekman, a psychologist famous for his studies in emotion as they relate to facial expression. I was interested in the subject matter for some personal reasons which will come to light, but I even checked out a book from the library that Dr. Ekman wrote about facial expression. One book and a TV show certainly don't make me an expert, but here's my interest...
It is often or source of contention and a challenging, ongoing problem for the 2 lead characters to not "read" each other. They are both highly skilled and trained in reading peoples' body language, facial expression and speech pattern in order to detect lies and deceit. What this also allows them is the ability to see other emotions and feelings besides deceit. Hence, they must be careful not to "read" each other and see too far in because there are some things people wish to remain secret, or some thought we wish not to share with another. Having this ability is like mind reading in a sense. Under the circumstances of the show as it is written, Dr. Lightman and Foster, (Lightman more so) can always see what people are thinking.
Now, this is the part of this post where I start to feel a little wacky. I became extremely interested in the above subject matter because I am clairvoyant in this sense. Sometimes I hate it. I certainly don't claim be doctor, or psychic or anything, as there truly are people who study these things as a science. I don't even really read peoples facial expressions so much as I can see things in their faces sometimes, but also in their body's and especially the way people speak. It's what Hal has complained about before... I'm impossible to bullshit. Maybe not impossible; I can be fooled, but simply it's hard to pull the wool over my eyes. I often feel like I see everything and I often see by feeling. It's a combination of being observant, and sensitive to feelings, and learning people. I study people all the time and I know they don't know it. I know things about my roommate he has never told me, but he didn't have to... I hear them in tone of voice, and choice of words. I know what's between the lines - because really, if you think about it, people often give themselves away... you just have to look for the little things; the small details that usually go unnoticed.
Ok, that was kind of rambling, but the point is made. I can "read" people. I hate it sometimes. I hate that I can look at a person and see pain, or when they are uncomfortable in a group situation and trying to hard to fit in and be like everyone else. In some ways I feel like I'm not quite conveying how sudden and personal of an experience this can be. I just figure things out about people. I figure things out about people I know they probably wouldn't want me to know. I figure things out you tell best friends and people you trust. Most people don't want another person inside their head that much and I can go there with people. I don't really like to be inside that deep and I enjoy the freedom of being able to get out and not concern myself, but that doesn't mean I didn't see it... some things you see stay with you. Sometimes you learn something about a person you wish you didn't know. Sometimes you feel a person's pain you wish they weren't feeling, let alone yourself.
I feel like whatever this is... is a gift in a way. I feel like I should do something with it, but I don't know what. I think sometimes I annoy people because I ask lots of questions. When I meet people I ask them lots of questions. I mean, not at first, but over the course of knowing me, I like to ask the "not everyday" questions. My reasoning; when you know how people lived, how they grew up, what their values are, what matters to them.... then it's easier to understand that person as an individual. It's almost like you gain the ability to be completely accepting. If I understand the reasons behind another's actions and motivation then I feel like I truly know them.
Example: I know my best friend has been through some very tense, dangerous, life-threatening situations. I know how those situations have affected relationships and life outlooks and values and morals. Because I've asked these questions and gained this information, it tells me a lot about why said friend makes some of the choices and decisions made in life. It tells me why they react the way they do about certain things, or why the sometimes don't react at all.
Sometimes in people, I don't like what I see. I can read when a guy is a player. I can tell when someone is a backstabbing friend. I can listen and know when someone is annoyed at their spouse; word choice, tone, body language and facial expression give it all away and I notice those things. Maybe everyone really can do this to an extent. I believe most people would say that when they have known another person for an extended period of time they start to pick up on those things, but I can do it from a first meeting usually. I'm not saying I'm special or better than anyone else... It's just weird. People show so much when often times they are trying so hard not to...
I need to write about my other so called "super power" soon. Is anyone calling the looney bin yet? Yah.. I told T about that one... Superman has sonar hearing. I have like some kind of sonar feeling... but we'll do that another night.
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