Observe a scenario: Dressed smartly and looking elegant yet sexy, a girl goes into work to check her schedule for the next day. Upon her arrival her excited friend greets her "You'll never believe this. A guy left his number for you!" The girl is somewhat dumbfounded yet pleasantly surprised. She secretly hopes it is the man she has been interested in as of late who has frequented the establishment, as they have exchanged some flirty/interested-type conversations. Although not her secret hope, she is still flattered to learn that another gentleman had taken notice of her and was courageous enough to take a chance, by attempting to to describe himself to said friend and leave his number. The girl sticks the slip of paper, "Chris - security guard/cheese fries" in her pocket, converses with her friends and goes home. She walks down the street considering her choices in the matter. She contemplates calling a friend for advice. She scrolls through her list of friends, imagining what each one would say. She puts the notion out of her head until she arrives home. Later in the evening she pulls the slip of paper from her coat pocket. She re-reads the short note and desperately tries to recall a face that goes with the name. So many people in such short amounts of time almost every day she goes to work... The name remains a name as no descriptors come to mind.
With a sense of urgency, she grabs her phone and quickly dials the number. It's as if she wants to punch it in before she loses her nerve. She is surprised when a reply text message comes through. There is short banter on memories and recollections. It brings a smile to her face to have taken the chance. Continuing down the path of spontaneity, the girl sees an opportunity, albeit assertive perhaps, to see the male and recall his face. Since she was getting ready to leave for the evening to take a class, she suggested they meet at her place of work for a drink. The male quickly sidesteps the suggestion, stating he would prefer to stay home for the evening. Talk continues and for a 2nd time in this short exchange the male makes a statement noting the females' lack of memory to his person.
THIS IS WHERE YOU SHOULD HERE THE RECORD SCREECH!!!
With embarrassment and slight annoyance, she again the nature of her job and attempts at an apology for not remembering his face. By giving the following response the male on the other end of the line has lost any chance of continued interest:
"If you're not into me or interested just tell me now."
Um... Ok. This is where the scenario ends. What the fuck is that?!! What is that part of the story?! It wasn't supposed to go like that. What is this obvious lack of self-esteem and bullshit stroke my ego? Men who do this to women on a first date, first meeting, first talking whatever...! They don't deserve a chance. Maybe that's harsh to some but that statement says so much to me. It tells me without even seeing a face, that I have no interest in that person. Although, not word for word, the above scenario is fact to fact. I cannot argue that the language implies interest as all the language is not present, but even with what is described, there is no reason for the male to respond with that statement. It is egotistical and even condescending. It implies insecurity and immaturity. I am not interested in boys. I'm not even interested in guys. I'm interested in MEN. I would love to have children some day. I will gladly and proudly raise them, but really... I'm over taking care of boys. Be a man. Rise to the challenge. Oh, and when I say "rise" goddamn I mean it ;) I don't have a lot of expectations. I try not to really. I try to just accept people for who and what they are, but I'm gonna break the rules here.
My expectation in a mate, a partner, my best friend: Be a man. Take care of you and your responsibilities. Be secure in yourself mentally, physically and emotionally. Stand tall. Stand for what you believe in. Treat me with respect. While respect can be earned, general, overall politeness separates men from douche-bags ;) Be straight. Don't play games. Allow me to support you, cheer you on and be your number one fan, but also, have enough self-confidence that you don't need me to be your number one fan. Attempt to balance pride and humbleness. (that's more of a preference thing) and I guess in a sense I could go on for days explaining what I think constitutes being a "man," but really it's about my annoyance with the lack of self-aware, self-confident, intelligent men. I'm so tired of talking to boys. I know a few men. I'm attracted to them because they are so. I'm kind of all about skip the bullshit and lets get down to it. Don't get me wrong, that doesn't mean "lets hop in the sack," but all the niceties, the courting, the "dating" phase. It's always the same. So... yah, skip the bullshit. Be a man. Put yourself out there. Take a chance. I'll be impressed if you can prove you have balls ;)
(And since I know no one that really matters in the big scheme of things is reading this, it's still suffice to say, it's how I feel and it's what annoys me about being single, yet at the same time almost makes me grateful I am.)
